So, this entry may or may not be inspired by cold medicine. You've all been warned.

It seems like aging and birthdays are the big topic right now, so I thought I should jump on the bandwagon. This summer I'll be turning 24, officially entering my mid-twenties. Maybe once I get closer to the end of my mid-twenties, I'll hit the freak-out point. But it hasn't happened yet. As far as I'm concerned, the farther I get from my teens, the better.

I seem to gather a little more sense every year. Each low is a little higher, and the highs have stayed the same. Does that make sense? I've learned how to handle disappointments better, as well as happiness. Does happiness have to be handled? Yes. I've learned how to hope without expecting, to a certain extent.

And, as far as I can tell, I'm getting more and more comfortable with myself as I get older. I'm actually looking forward to 30.

I mean, by the same token, I feel like I should be father in my life by this point. I've always had this mental time line that has been hard to shake. I was supposed to graduate college last May. Instead, I'll be graduating NEXT May. I thought I'd at least be dating someone by this point (my parents got married when she was 25 and he was 28). Yeah, there have been a few bouts of infatuation, maybe more, but I haven't quite gotten the whole "like someone who likes me back" thing down yet. I'm sure I'll learn it eventually. (My theory on why I'm not taken yet is that I'm much too fabulous and smart and voluptuous and thus far too intimidating. I mean, that, you know, or too crazy and desperate. It's a fine line, sometimes, the fabulous vs crazy.)

Anyway. What was I saying? Oh yeah, why I'm not afraid of aging. I've never had an ideal body, so the physical aspect of "growing less attractive" has never really bothered me. I'll exchange fat for wrinkles and call it a fair deal. Or I'll keep the fat and fill out the wrinkles. Either way.

But, as far as feeling like I have to get things done by a certain time in my life... I think we all feel this to a certain extent, but I'm not sure I feel it as strongly as some. Yes, I would have loved to have been done with school by now, and be out on my own. But if my life had taken a different course, if I'd made different choices, I don't know if I would know as much about myself, or know the people I know.

When I think about aging, I always think of the movie The Hours, which is one of my fave movies of all time because it made such an impact on me. I mean, what I take away from it is that we can't live in the past. We have to be happy in the moment, live in the moment. This isn't to say we should live with a hedonistic lifestyle, but that we should appreciate the moments we have. we can't live in the past, just as we can't live in the future. Yeah, we do what we can now to make sure we have choices in the future, but all we really have control over is right now. And now, I'm a relatively stable, relatively happy single woman. Would I like to be unsingle? Sure. Would I like to be more stable (emotionally, financially, etc.)? Of course. But for now, I'll try to enjoy what I have at this moment.

Blah blah blah.