I've been staring at this blank box for about 2 hours now. I get all these ideas, and then once I open D-Land, they just melt away.

So, NaNoWriMo is going slowly. I've changed my requirements from 50,000 words to any words at all. I'm inspired at inconvenient times: while driving, with nothing to write on; at weddings with no sense of irony; and at friends' homes, so tired I can't put two words together. These are my moments of inspiration, and even they fall flat here.

It's dark outside right now, and all I can see are the library shelves and florecent lights reflected in the sky. I feel like that's all I see, like everything I see is just a reflection of the real thing: untouchable and unattainable. I know this is mostly lack of sleep talking, as well as a few other factors. And all of it is fixable, with time.

My life-goals are coming to fruition, but they still feel like a reflection. My moments of happiness have lately felt forced, like I'm only observing them. I'm just tired, I think. I haven't been sleeping well.

In other, less rambly and nonsensically melodramatic news, I'm giving up the boozy hooch for a while. I made the decision a while back, and tried sampling it last weekend at the wedding (oh yeah, news update: I was in a wedding this past weekend. Entry on that eventually), and I was moderate (I think) and did fine. However, like Acorn has said, it makes me tired. Too tired. And, when I drink, I want to eat (which isn't helping anybody. And with even one drink, it becomes easy for me to lose my train of thought. It isn't to say I have anything against drinking. Far from it. I have the greatest respect for alcohol. But, I'm realizing more and more it probably doesn't have much of a place in my bloodstream. My appologees to those of you whom I have entertained with my drinking self. I'll be replacing alcohol with caffine (and eventually eliminating all but green tea) as my social beverage. You'll just have to make do with Caffinated Rae instead. Her jokes aren't as dirty, but her motor skills are much better

Hope you all had a good weekend.